Can't Afford

“I can’t afford to feel low”, said the COO of a big company following a stormy event at the company. Some of the employees rebelled against the COO and went on a major strike, accusing and abusing him for the recent project failure and demanding his resignation. The conflict was eventually settled and strike was called off with a peaceful mediation by the BOM without removing COO from the company. However, the resentment inside some of those employees still remained. It was then after a few days, when I asked how he was doing, he said he can’t afford to feel low and said amusingly that he will sulk after a month, not now.

He has been working with the company for more than 10 years. He is one of the most positive, jovial and compassionate leaders I have come across. He trusts his employees and has faith in their commitment towards the company. He inspires and supports his team members to go beyond their task requirements and rewards them for creativity. He is visionary and risk taking. He has an open door office, where anyone can walk in and speak freely to him. He works as mentor to his company employees rather than an autocratic leader. Therefore, seeing some of those people turning against him in such big way was very disheartening.

I recall once my supervisor while training us counseling said, “it is okay to cry with your client in the session”. In a therapy session, normally the therapist is expected to be the stronger person in terms of handling distress and be more ‘emotionally balanced’. When my supervisor said so, it was a tinker in my mind. ‘It is okay to cry along with your client’ meant that it is okay to express those intense feelings. That “okay’ in fact assured that by being emotionally expressive, I am not going to lose my status of therapist. I can be as much competent and effective in helping my client. It would just mean that I am sensitive, empathic and more importantly a ‘human’, which will in fact enhance the effectiveness of the process.

Authority Relearnt

I was born first followed by three siblings. Dominance, I suppose, was imbibed in me. Additionally being a daughter of bureaucrat in India, I always observed and had the assistance of a servant, peon or a driver. To command and demand from people was natural and obvious part of life.

Living in USA and practicing psychology, however, changed me. It was not just cooking and living on my own,  but, numerous small tasks like photocopying, cleaning my office, getting water (the tasks for which in India we generally depend on peons to do), that made me more self sufficient.

I discovered my beliefs in individual importance. In my approach to counseling I was client centered and non directive. I would regard all equal in my therapy room: a rich person would be treated same as poor. I would regard individuals beyond their class and levels, beyond their age and gender, and beyond their race and ethnicity.

As I joined work in an organization, I was required to maintain a hierarchy. I had people working for me, and I needed to command, direct and lead. I wondered if I needed to be autocratic to get work done. What it takes to be good authority? Is it a trait or some skill that can be learnt? How to manage people and get things done? And, in deeper sense, how to get people work for you out of love and respect rather than a terror.

Power comes from position, money and knowledge. But authority is not just about executing powers. It is also about possessing the traits which reflect radiance and gain respect from everyone around. Having authority means being able to positively influence people at all levels within an organization, because you are a trusted and respected figure; and you are perceived as having expertize and knowledge in your field.

A few things I have found basic and important for being an effective authority at work: