Asking God for something

“What did you ask for from the God?” Someone asked outside the temple. It made me think of all those things that I used to ask for. I had asked to come first in the class when I was in IX standard. Long hair, selection in entrance exam, a 'yes' and many such things that I would ask for and promise to come back to the same temple and offer 'prasad'.

Then, there was a time, when I stopped asking such things but for one: that May God not let me do anything wrong and that I do all right to everyone. I was afraid to be wrong and do incorrect. However, some of my life experiences later changed my perspective. It was Okay to ‘not know’, it was Okay to ‘do wrong’, it was Okay for others to not know and do wrongs.

So then to ask from God, I had ‘Peace of mind’, ‘Happiness’ and ‘Courage to face the adversities’. With time, even the need to ask these things got dissolved. I realized that there are phases of happiness and sadness, fortunes and misfortunes in our life. I stopped asking anything for me. Asking for any other person would still mean some thing for me as I would be related and concerned for him or her. Okay, so then I decided I would not ask for anything for me or anyone related to me, for it did not make any sense to me. 

I did not become atheist. I go to temples and bow my head to the supreme authority. I do thank God, for all the goodness in my life. But I withdraw from asking anything, from being demanding. What to ask? What more to ask? Why to ask? Let me be appreciative of what is given. Life is not fair but still good!!

Can't Afford

“I can’t afford to feel low”, said the COO of a big company following a stormy event at the company. Some of the employees rebelled against the COO and went on a major strike, accusing and abusing him for the recent project failure and demanding his resignation. The conflict was eventually settled and strike was called off with a peaceful mediation by the BOM without removing COO from the company. However, the resentment inside some of those employees still remained. It was then after a few days, when I asked how he was doing, he said he can’t afford to feel low and said amusingly that he will sulk after a month, not now.

He has been working with the company for more than 10 years. He is one of the most positive, jovial and compassionate leaders I have come across. He trusts his employees and has faith in their commitment towards the company. He inspires and supports his team members to go beyond their task requirements and rewards them for creativity. He is visionary and risk taking. He has an open door office, where anyone can walk in and speak freely to him. He works as mentor to his company employees rather than an autocratic leader. Therefore, seeing some of those people turning against him in such big way was very disheartening.

I recall once my supervisor while training us counseling said, “it is okay to cry with your client in the session”. In a therapy session, normally the therapist is expected to be the stronger person in terms of handling distress and be more ‘emotionally balanced’. When my supervisor said so, it was a tinker in my mind. ‘It is okay to cry along with your client’ meant that it is okay to express those intense feelings. That “okay’ in fact assured that by being emotionally expressive, I am not going to lose my status of therapist. I can be as much competent and effective in helping my client. It would just mean that I am sensitive, empathic and more importantly a ‘human’, which will in fact enhance the effectiveness of the process.

Perspectives

My girl was not happy. She said she did not enjoy the fair. She mentioned that she did not eat the floss candy, did not tell her name to that Uncle over there and, she did not get the balloons. I wondered why only these incidents were in her mind. Nevertheless, I replied instantly, “but then you had a good bike ride, and you got a soft teddy bear for putting the ball in the basket and, you got a beautiful strawberry tattoo made on your palm. You also danced on your favorite number Kolavari.” And asked again, “So how did you enjoy the fair?” Her response changed immediately. I enjoyed it very much, and later on she kept telling it to everyone.

In this case, it was a three-year old so one can say that it is easy to change the mind. But, shouldn’t it be easy for the adults to do the same? Why negative aspects remain more intense and overpowering in our mind than the positive ones? Once, a girl of class XII was upset about her math paper. She had messed up a question worth 5 marks out of 100. After the exam all she remembered was that 5-mark question and cried hell throughout the day. She did not or could not relish the achievement of solving the rest questions worth 95 Marks.

Never sleep sleepless

One of my friends told me that a critical issue in his office was resolved. It was a great relief for him. He told that he couldn’t even sleep for that whole night, thinking about it. I was certainly happy for him, but what caught my attention more, was his sleepless night. And I wondered if there is ever a point in sleeping sleeplessly. As it is said, no lock is made without a key, so there is always a way out of any situation or problem. Something or the other comes out. And better will come out if we sleep sound, rather than disturbed. Worrying will neither solve our problems nor will allow us to think differently. Worrying is a habit that we should get rid of.

Worrying is natural too. Whenever one encounters a problem or a difficult situation, he/she worries for the outcome. Beneath every such worry there is a fear: fear of failure, fear of being caught, fear of losing the dear ones etc. There are three key steps to combat such fear:

1.       Being truthful to yourself and others
2.       Being sincere in your deeds and intentions
3.       Having faith in God/ Destiny

Whenever you find yourself worrying, just think of these three simple points. It will result in fearless &  positive mind.  And, you can sleep tight all night!