I was born first followed by three siblings. Dominance, I suppose, was imbibed in me. Additionally being a daughter of bureaucrat in India, I always observed and had the assistance of a servant, peon or a driver. To command and demand from people was natural and obvious part of life.
Living in USA and practicing psychology, however, changed me. It was not just cooking and living on my own, but, numerous small tasks like photocopying, cleaning my office, getting water (the tasks for which in India we generally depend on peons to do), that made me more self sufficient.
I discovered my beliefs in individual importance. In my approach to counseling I was client centered and non directive. I would regard all equal in my therapy room: a rich person would be treated same as poor. I would regard individuals beyond their class and levels, beyond their age and gender, and beyond their race and ethnicity.
As I joined work in an organization, I was required to maintain a hierarchy. I had people working for me, and I needed to command, direct and lead. I wondered if I needed to be autocratic to get work done. What it takes to be good authority? Is it a trait or some skill that can be learnt? How to manage people and get things done? And, in deeper sense, how to get people work for you out of love and respect rather than a terror.
Power comes from position, money and knowledge. But authority is not just about executing powers. It is also about possessing the traits which reflect radiance and gain respect from everyone around. Having authority means being able to positively influence people at all levels within an organization, because you are a trusted and respected figure; and you are perceived as having expertize and knowledge in your field.
A few things I have found basic and important for being an effective authority at work:
