“I do not like to come last in the race.” She uttered timidly. She was looking at me with watery eyes. As I held her hands, tears rolled down to her cheeks. She curled into my arms. I could sense the pain in her voice. There wasn’t any anguish or frustration. She was sad! She settled in my arms quietly for the while. I didn’t know anything to say but to hold her tight in my arms providing motherly warmth. Her sorrowful tenderness was touching my heart.
She had taken part in swimming competition in her school champions’ league. Races have not been her “thing”. Although, she has been taking part since nursery, the trophies have not yet got chance to be in her hands (until now). She recently had learnt swimming and was doing well. She was enjoying being in water; but racing was still not her idea. She had expressed her non interest in swimming competition mildly, it was decided otherwise.
It was thought that she should be at least participating, no matter how she performs. Participation is important! She may not be amongst the top few today; but she would be getting the experience which she wouldn’t otherwise sitting at home. She might be inspired to work harder and smarter. She would be energized seeing others and she would learn something. She should be exposed to as many activities at this age. So what if she doesn’t win, she still would be running. Coming last in race would still mean that she was a runner. This year at least she qualified for swimming by knowing how to swim. So being part of the show was important.
After coming from the school she had very indifferently reported that she was the last. We talked about how the competition was organized and who were the winners. It was only after a few hours of her settling down at home, that she conveyed her feelings to me. After comforting her, the ‘shrink’ in me asked her, “what bothers her about being the last”. I really did not want to make a big deal about it, so in a light humor, I asked how does she know if she was the last and not the last-but-one while she was swimming and supposed to be keeping her head down and just focus on herself? We chilled and versed together as always, “हारने वालों का भी एक रुतबा होता है , मलाल वो करें जो दौड़ में शामिल ही न थे". Eventually, had her choice of pizza treat that day.
